what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
