So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize