See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
