its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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