she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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