Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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