Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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