forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They took my balls.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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