yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
