turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
