i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize