Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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