I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize