You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
