why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
