So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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