I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
