so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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