We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am one with the molecules
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
