this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
