I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
