No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
