I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
