Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize