This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Panties = found
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
