I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize