What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
