Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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