lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
