Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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