just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
