We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
