My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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