We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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