Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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