The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
