I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
