Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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