so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
