**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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