you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
