Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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