i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize