Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
