Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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