i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
