You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Randomize
