I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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