I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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