worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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