i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
