I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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