you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't think brook has ever known best
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
