Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
