I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
