we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
