don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
