you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize