They should really pass out barf bags in church
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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