Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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