How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
