he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
