i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
