Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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