so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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