Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
