My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
