I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
