I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
