Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
