i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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