I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
