I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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