I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
