It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
