i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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