I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
