If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
