He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
