At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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