DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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