She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
