The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
